Last Updated on November 26, 2022 by Milton Campbell
Boosting your mentoring skills is a great way to not only make those around you better but also make yourself better. Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding opportunities you can have in life.
Continue reading to discover tips on how to be a mentor with employees, friends, and family. Don’t forget to download your free mentoring skills checklist.
What is Mentoring?
Mentoring is also known as coaching leadership. True leaders coach others and take them under their wing to reach new heights in their life. You can learn more about coaching leadership and other leadership styles in my article explaining 10 different leadership styles.
The Different Forms of Mentoring
Just like all people are different, mentoring comes in many different forms. The best mentors are great leaders that guide others in multiple aspects of their life. It helps to know which type of mentoring will work best in which situation.
Have you ever had one of those people that it feels like just about every time you talk to them you walk away motivated to give life your best? These types of mentors can be very beneficial in improving productivity, attitude, and work fulfillment. People seem to flock to these leaders because of how they make them feel.
A teaching mentor is always looking for the lesson in everything. They look to train others on everything from work to life. These types of mentors are always learning themselves so they always have something to train others on.
Ethical mentors are the people everyone goes to for spiritual, ethical, and moral advice. These mentors are great at keeping people walking straight and narrow and always doing the right thing. They lead by example, including doing the right thing when nobody’s looking.
See Related: Brian Tracy Leadership Questionnaire
The following is a list of mentoring topics that may be of interest to you. This list is not all-inclusive but will give you an idea of topics that can be covered in mentoring.
- Academic/professional development
- Career planning (academic/non-academic)
- Creating a work-life balance
- Dealing with conflict in the workplace
- Dealing with difficult people/situations at work
- Goal setting and achieving goals (personal and professional)
- Managing finances (e.g., credit card debt, student loans, car loan, home mortgage, retirement planning)
- Managing personal relationships (family, friends, co-workers)
- Maintaining a positive attitude at work and in life (responding to setbacks and disappointments)
The Difference Between Training and Mentoring
Do you know the difference between a trainer and a mentor? Both values are important in a leader, but they are not the same. Training and mentoring are both tools used to increase subordinates’ skills. Training is the act of teaching an employee or team member their job. Mentoring is the act of developing an employee, team member, peer, friend, child, or anyone else as a person. Many times trainers are also excellent mentors but not all trainers have the leadership skills to be a mentor.
As a leader, we should always look for opportunities to not only train our subordinates but also mentor them. Improving your mentoring skills and mentoring those around you makes you a better supervisor, coach, and leader. Taking an active role in the professional and personal development of those around us is an investment that can pay dividends. These investments tend to both pay off in the short term and the long term for both the mentee and the mentor.
Benefits of Mentoring
- The more people you coach the better your mentoring skills and leadership will become.
- Allows mentor and mentee to reflect on current practices.
- Increases job satisfaction for everyone involved.
- Successes are shared by both mentees and mentors.
- Personal and professional problem-solving abilities are increased.
- The mentee may become a promoter and teacher of the mentor’s vision.
Related Content: What are the benefits of mentoring?
Tips to Improve Key Mentoring Skills
1. Communication is Key
Communication is one of the most important skills you can improve. To be a good mentor, we must talk and have open conversations with our mentees. This doesn’t necessarily mean we should always provide advice or chime into every conversation we overhear. If it’s something you have experience or extensive knowledge in feel free to offer your advice. Otherwise, the best option might be to become a listener for your mentee.
When you say communication, most people think about talking. Believe it or not, listening is extremely important. When you don’t listen to what the other person is saying you will never be on the same page as them. Sometimes all people need is someone to listen to them and care.
2. Take an Interest
Take interest in what your mentees are doing to better themselves. A genuine desire to make your mentees better is required to be a good mentor. When your employee does something like start classes, go to a leadership seminar, learn a new skill, etc. ask them about it. Not only will this show them you care but you might also learn something too. Everyone has something to teach you. Even if it’s something you have extensive knowledge of, they may have a perspective you’ve never seen before.
3. Don’t Be Too Pushy
Just because you feel strongly about something doesn’t mean everyone else will. Be very cautious about pushing too hard. Many times, the harder you push, the less someone will listen to you. As a mentor, you want to guide people, not force them to follow your advice. Sometimes people won’t listen, and you must allow them the freedom to make their own mistakes. After mistakes are made, try your best not to rub it in and say I told you so. Just help your mentee learn from the mistake and get through it.
4. Be Encouraging
Use your mentoring skills as a motivational mentor to encourage others. Being there for your mentees can really help get them to the next level. Encourage them to step out of their comfort zone a little and learn new skills. Even if a mentee tries something and fails, they deserve encouragement for trying. You can also help them see the lessons they learned by trying. When your mentees see that you truly believe in them, they will work even harder to try not to let you down.
5. Celebrate Success
You and your mentee have put in a lot of work and successes should be celebrated. Many times, your mentee will come to you excited when they learn a new skill or complete one of their goals. Share their excitement with them. Let them know how proud you are of them. This can be done in many ways. You can verbally let them know, you can take them out for lunch, and you can congratulate them in front of their peers in a meeting, just to name a few ways.
6. Invite Them Along
Your mentees are not the only ones that should be working on themselves. You should also be looking for opportunities to not only improve your mentoring skills but also improve all your skills. When you do something like attend a seminar, class, or anything else you do to better yourself, invite your mentees along with you. Things like this can be a lot easier to do when you have someone you know with you. This also gives you someone to talk to about the lessons you learn. Talking about the stuff you learn not only gives you a conversation topic but also helps give you both a better understanding of the information learned.
7. Decisions are Theirs to Make
Although we never want to see our mentees make the wrong decision, at some point, it is bound to happen. We must allow our mentees to make their own decisions. We are not trying to control our mentees and make them in our image. We are trying to help our mentees be the best they can be. Sometimes this means allowing them to go in directions that we might have not gone in. We are there as mentors, to advise and support.
8. Discover Their Goals and Help Them Get There
To be a good mentor, you must know the goals of your mentee. Make sure you understand the difference between their goals for themselves and your goals for them. Don’t be afraid to directly ask your mentee what their personal and professional goals are. They may not be what you think, and they do change over time. Once you understand their goals, provide them with the tools and advice to achieve their goals.
Mentoring Skills Checklist. What Makes a Good Mentor?
You can use the mentoring skills checklist below to help you on your journey to becoming an awesome mentor. Feel free to save, print, or link to this checklist for future usage.
Online Mentoring Resources
Below are some resources where you can offer your mentoring services or receive some mentoring:
- Mentoring.org is a site where you can offer your skills virtually mentoring youths.
- Growth Mentor is a site that offers mentors mostly focused on the growth marketing niche.
- Score is a nonprofit organization offering business mentorship.
- Trilogy Mentors offers tutoring and mentorship to children focusing on education.
- The Muse is a site offering career coaching and mentorship.
Wrapping Up How to Be a Mentor
Mentees come in many forms. They can be employees, peers, friends, family, or just about anyone. You just need to keep your eyes open for opportunities to help others. These opportunities arise every day, be ready for them.
The best leaders coach others to be better today than they were yesterday and even better tomorrow. Being a mentor can be very rewarding. Helping others achieve their potential is an amazing feeling.
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